Summer Solstice

things to do on the longest day of the year that you never have time for any other day:

• get the most of of your solar panels
• realise its too late to buy solar panels because the days just get shorter and shorter from here on in... put it on your new years resolution list to buy some in 2007.
• battle the sun -- wear no sunscreen and try to avoid skin damage -- if you succeed today, you are mightier than the sun
• for those who stay indoors every other day, make an exception today and capture a whole summers worth of vitamin D in one day by filling mason jars with mirrors and setting them on your lawn.
• request to meet your friendly neighbourhood vampires for coffee at 9pm (your normal meeting time) without mentioning the extended daylight hours, and watch them emerge, eager to enjoy your company, only to sizzle into nothingness before your eyes. Collect their ashes in mason jars to be sprinkled over frozen yogurt because -- they must be riddled with vitamin d.
• write your name on the sidewalk with the bodies from ants you have killed with a magnifying glass.
• watch the sunset and time the exact moment it disappears over the horizon, than send out a mass email on your blackberry to everyone you know telling them how long the longest day of the year was this year before they hear it on CItyPulse.
• convince your siblings that if their skin is exposed to the sun on this particular day it will evaporate exposing all their internal organs. The only way to avoid this is to attach sponges to their body and keep them moist. Take pictures when they believe you (because they obviously will) and sell these pictures in card format to people at your gym to give as gag gifts.
• sell solstice paraphenallia
• buy solstice paraphenallia
• make your own paraphenalia and then sell and buy it.
• measure the height your plants have grown over one day and sell the story to CP24
• deny that solstice ever happened and wear your sunglasses all day
• get solstice confused with eclipse and buy expensive dark eclipse glasses...send out a mass email at work saying you will let people look directly at the sun using your glasses for a quarter per 10 seconds. Make a killing.
• sleep through the whole thing, wake up when the sun sets and have a shortest night of the year party
• ask your boss to explain what solstice is to you. When they try (if they even remotely succeed) ask for a visual explanation. Say you think you understand but you are a much more visual person. Produce 9 balls of various sizes and begin naming off the planets in a sing-song voice.

HAPPY SOLSTICE FRIENDS!